Engagement shots

We finally took our engagement photos!! My future sister-in-law took these and they turned out amazing!!
I am so excited to have crossed this off of our list of many to-dos in our wedding planning. I am so crazy about this awesome guy Micah!

We took these at the construction site of the house that we are building. Well, Micah and his dad and brother are building it. I've only picked out the rock; ha!

So without further ado..

Dealing with Disappointment

This topic seems to come up time and time again in my life. I know life has its share of celebrations and disappointments, but what do you do when you are in a season of disappointments? Disappointments are the most humbling and most profound proof of the existance of God's hand in our lives. It makes me realize that nothing is by chance and nothing happens unless God wills it to happen.

I have been praying for a change in my life for a long time now. I've been burned out with my job mainly. I've been applying and sending out this awesome, tailored cover letter that is so creative and fresh. But that has still led me nowhere and I've gotten several of those rejection emails. 

What do you do? I guess you simply KEEP ON GOING and that is all you can do. You pray for strength and guidance and "just keep truckin."

It finally happened!!

Micah and I finally took our balloon ride on Sept 11th. It was a perfect, clear, cool morning for a balloon ride. I have to say that it was one of the coolest things I've done, ever. The only downside I can say is that we flew over dry, parched farmland near San Marcos and it wasn't one of the most breathtaking sceneries I've seen! Everything was dry and dead due to the drought. We saw a lot of cows, goats, chickens, horses, and dogs. I yelled at the cow, "HEY COW!" I was excited that I got the chance to play that game up in the air.

I was amazed at how quiet and peaceful it was up there. We could hear almost everything. And when the pilot gassed up the balloon by blowing fire into the top, it was HOT and it was like it was the loudest thing out there in the sky. I was hoping to run into some birds or something, but that didn't happen. Okay, let me clarify that. I wasn't hoping we would hit any birds. I hoped we would have a bird flying right along beside us.

Overall, it was a great experience and I'm glad it finally happened. After three tries we finally got to go. Here are some shots of our ride.

filling up the balloon

there were two other balloons that rode with us

looking in the inside of the balloon

blowing up the balloon

so early in the morning, but so pretty

I'm tired, but ready to go

the balloon behind us

up in the air finally

look mom, I'm flying!

These were the other balloons behind us

God waking up the earth

I's me in a balloon again!!

going over I-35!

I give this two thumbs up - WAY UP!

HEY!!

scenery

it's not scary up here, it's fun

We are done!

Big shot himself

We are official Aeronauts!!

a memorable Sep 11

The 10-year anniversary of Sept 11th tragedy was a memorable one for me. I watched the memorial special on NBC and it was really moving. Like everyone else, I remember exactly what I was doing that day. I was working at a publications place in Lubbock and all my co-workers that day were glued to the TV. I remember watching the people jump out of the twin towers, making that awful decision to end their life.

I have no idea what I would have done. I'd like to think I would not jump because I believe that only God makes that decision of when I die. When it's your time, it's your time. Would you rather die from smoke inhalation or would you rather jump to your death? Either decision is as equally painful.

But if I had no option or no way out, I pray that I have the courage to jump. After all, as followers of Christ, we should not fear death. Heaven is our home. And it's only there that we will be where we were intended to be.. and our joy will become complete. Everything will be perfect and we will be home.

I think of that Switchfoot song that says, "I've been searching for a place of my own, and now I know that this is home."

I’ve got my memories

Always inside of me
But I can’t go back
Back to how it was

I believe now
I’ve come too far
No I can’t go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I’ve never known

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home

I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

the engagement!



Me and Micah at the Balloon Festival in New Mexico


On July 5th, my Micah Shuler asked me to marry him! And of course I said yes! For all interested parties, here is The Proposal. :)

We have been dating for over a year, April 1st was our first date. However, we had decided to become exclusive around July 2nd. I had a slight suspicion that he might propose over the fourth of July weekend, only because he told me he was going to take me somewhere special for our anniversary.

We had plans to spend most of the weekend with his family at his lake house at Lake LBJ. After a fun weekend of boating, tubing, and also doing some family projects..the weekend was coming to a close. All I knew is that we were going to Austin Monday morning and had to be at the place by 6:00 AM.

Going back to Sunday night, the night before we were going to be in Austin.. We were outside with his family, hanging out and chatting and eating watermelon. Out of the blue, Micah's dad asked this random question, "Hey Micah, where is that balloon taking off?! My eyes almost popped out of my head because at that point I knew what my surprise was - a hot air balloon ride! It had to be that since Micah knew that I have always wanted to ride a hot air balloon!

I was a little upset because Micah's dad ruined the surpise, even though he knew it was a secret. I later found out that he had told his parents where he was taking me only 2 days prior to that day. I guess he should have kept it a secret, at least from his dad! haha!

On the way to the balloon ride, Micah gets a phone call from the balloon pilot. He said, "I've got some bad news: a crew member is sick and we cannot go on the balloon. :( 

I told Micah, "Call him back and tell him that is unacceptable!! You had something special planned for your girlfriend and he ruined it!! I'm sure that crewmember partied too much from the fourth of July weekend!!! (at this point I decided that he probably was not going to propose..a balloon ride would have been the way to go and now that is not happening)

Well, we decided that we would just go to breakfast and take our time since we wouldn't be going on the balloon ride. Since I love the Kirby Lane Cafe so much we decided to go there for breakfast before we headed back to San Antonio.

We got seated in an area of the restaurant by ourselves. Since it was the day after the 4th, there wasn't many people in the restaurant. Before I knew it, Micah reached out an grabbed my hand. I thought he was just going to hold my hand, and before I knew it...he slipped a ring on my finger. He said, "I'm so sorry that nothing I planned worked out. I just can't wait any longer though. You know how much I'm in love with you. Will you marry me?"

I sat there looking at him in awe and amazement. I couldn't believe it was happening!! I had also never seen anything like my ring. It was more gorgeous and more wonderful than anything I had ever imagined! 

Then I hear him saying, "Well???!" And then I said, "yes, of course I will marry you!"

And so now I'm engaged and I couldn't be happier with the man God had picked out especially for me. He has the most amazing smile that can illuminate even the darkest places. He puts my needs first. He shares the same faith. And most importantly, he loves me for me!

When I was younger I imagined the man I would marry. I used to think he was going to be really funny and keep me in stiches all the time. I used to say that was one of the most important qualities (behind having the same faith being the most important).

Although Micah isn't a hilarious guy, we have so much fun together and can make each other laugh!!

But every time I've planned out or imagined something that I think I want or would be happy with, God shows me something completely different. In most cases I am way off! It's like the time I thought I wanted a boy dog and God gave me Luna Belle. Or the times I thought I was in love before, and God told me he had something better for me.

I believe that we don't really ever know what we want or know what would make us really happy. And sometimes we don't even know until we see it or God shows it to us. Often times we think we know, but then something happens and makes us question it.. After several experiences (most of the time they are heartbreaking) we think we have a better idea of what we want. But ultimately, God knows what makes us truly happy. And if we wait on God's best, how sweet it is!!!

I

Does God want us to be happy?

My best friend came to visit me this weekend. She said something so profound that I just had to share it on here. We had a lot of fun conversations and reminisced about the past. We also laughed a lot and discussed some serious things. We talked about disappointment and regret and dealing with these hard topics. I told her blatantly, "I think God wants us to be happy." And as soon as I said that she said very definitively, "God doesn't want us to be happy." At first that bothered me a little and then I realized how much truth there was in that statement. Does God want us to be happy?

I think the answer to that question is yes and no. I think when we are at our happiest and things around us are going well.. we do not cling to Him. We do not pray as much and we certainly do not ask Him for advice and counsel. And for that reason, we soon start to forget Him. God doesn't promise us that everything is going to be good, but that He will work all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

He allows painful things to happen so that we will rely on Him and be content in HIM, trusting Him that He has a plan. And that is not easy. And when we are trusting Him, we often are doing it in angst. It's so hard to trust in a plan you can't see and see a way out of a situation that has been so hopeless for so long.

But we must.. This is what following Christ is all about. We must continue to Love, even when there is nothing left in us. For that is what it's all about. It's about a relationship and about casting all your cares on Him.. for He cares for you.

So I must strive to be content in all things and in all circumstances.. and to stand firm in the faith. It's not about being happy, it's about having faith beyond all measure.

I love this quote below. I want to say it over and over again and memorize it. It helps me believe in myself and in who God says I am.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Almost a Month

It's been almost a month since I returned from Israel and I'm struggling to hold on to it still. The way I felt in the desert.The arid climate was so vibrant and full of life. It's amazing how lush and green certain areas of the desert are. I can still hear our guide Ruben talk to us about wildlife and vegetation in the desert and how it adapts and survives.

He plucked a stem from a plant that was completely closed up. He asked me to put it in my mouth and suck on it. In a few minutes, the plant had opened up again. He said, "How interesting and fascinating that nature knows what to do and knows how to adapt to its environment. It's only humans who struggle with that." To me that was was so poignant and so true. Why do we have such a hard time adapting to our surroundings? It's almost like the more advanced we become technologically, the harder it is for us to adapt. It makes me long for the simple life when we didn't have a piece of metal glued to our ear 24/7; when we actually made better plans with our friends and family, instead of texting; when we didn't rely on a 2-ton machine to get us from place to place and we actually USED OUR GOD-GIVEN LEGS!

I guess that's why it's important for us to "get away" from it all and take vacations and get out in nature. We need to re-connect in nature with the ultimate creator. I wonder about the expression "getting plugged in" and how it's used so much in churches. Technology has unfused every facet of our lives and vernacular that we are lost without it. I desire that time to re-connect with God and get plugged into his mercy and love and compassion and peace.. so much so that it makes me want to chunk my cell phone for good.



On the Sea of Galillee




Mount Carmel




Ancient City-BeitShein




Cesarea by the Sea - Herod's Palace




Church of the Nativity - Bethleham




Cesarea by the Sea




Church of the Nativity - Jesus' birthplace




David's Harp - entrance to the city of Jerusalem




This guy translated the bible to Latin




The Garden of Gethsemane - Gethesemane means Olive Press in Hebrew




old theatre in Cesarea by the Sea




Jerusalem




skyline of Tel Aviv




Garden of Gethsemane




Walking to the Garden of Gethsemane



cool shot in Jerusalem




Orthodox Jews at the Wailing Wall




another shot of Othodox Jews




Garden Tomb




Wailing Wall




Wailing Wal




me in the Judean Desert




I did a cheer for the desert!




vegetation in the desert




dead sea in the background




This is my desert.




This is the dead sea - it stung my legs "big time!"




my dad and I floating the sea - that is us way in the back - forgot to Zoom :(




My Desert again