getting the bird

It happened today, it certainly wasn't the first and I know it won't be the last.. Today on my way to Taco Cabana to get a Cabana bowl, I got the big birdie. I was driving in the left hand lane minding my own business. I noticed a car beside me and a car behind me. I was going a little faster than the car next to me so I pass him and then I approach the traffic light as it turns red and stop. The lady behind me is in the right lane now and she stops a little in front of me in the right lane. The next thing I know I hear a loud honking from her and she sticks her hand out the window and sticks her ugly finger out the window and leaves it there for what seems like an eternity - the vile and repulsive thing it was. I turned to look to my left and right to see if there was someone else she was flipping off, but there was no other cars around. So I'm left thinking what the heck did I do? So, I honk back at her. I know I shouldn't have done that.. but I was still confused at what I possibly could have done. So she again decides she was going to flip me off again because apparently I didn't see it enough the first time!! She turns right and I continue on my way.. I left the intersection feeling angry, confused, and then it culiminated in sadness and pity. Even when someone cuts me off and does something worthy of "the bird" I still don't give the bird. I just mutter something to myself like, "you jerk" or "thank you so much for that" as I try to keep my cool.

I just felt sorry for her because it's just so sad to live life with such a hatred and such anger. Why do we feel we have to be this way to each other? Did that possibly make her feel better?? I wish I could have followed her and see how the rest of her day went.. I wonder if the bad Karma reared its ugly hand at her and then slapped her in the face.. and caused her stuff that ugly finger back in her mouth. Unfortunately, I'll never know.. But now I reflect at that beastly gesture and just say, "Wow, I thought I had road rage!"

This is actually a good lesson for me.. When I start to feel that road rage coming on when a driver makes a dumb mistake, I just need to laugh it off and remember how it made me feel when someone did that to me.. and how by doing it I became someone I did not like much at all.

Here is a song that makes me smile.

left my heart in Israel

So I'm back from Israel - what an experience!! Although I'm back in body, I don't think I'm quite all there in my spirit. I think I left a piece of my heart there. It's an amazing experience to go and walk where Jesus walked and to see the country where it all began. As I reflect on all that I saw, I feel joy beyond measure but also a tiny bit of sadness as well. Israel is a fascinating country and yes it is true that once you go there, the scriptures become alive. But I am afraid now that I am back that it will start to slip away sooner than I want it to - the memories, the feeling, the emotions, the beauty. I am afraid to forget this feeling as I experienced a peace like no other. As I go back to my life here in the states, I find myself disappointed and sad. I know God has not left me and He is still just a whisper away, but somehow He seemed more real in Israel. Everything here seems so meaningless and insignificant...It's like once you have been so high, it's hard to come back down from the mountain.
One thing that was really special to me was the Jerusalem Cross. It looks like this.

When we were in Bethleham at the church of the nativity, the guide told us about this cross and how it represents the five wounds on Jesus' body. Up until that point on the trip, I had not really felt God was speaking to me much at all. I was listening, but I was not getting a message from Him. When I heard the meaning of this cross, I was moved and felt like I was touched by the holy spirit. Later on we went to shop at this place that sold jewelry and souveniers from Bethleham. I found a pretty ring with the cross of jerusalem and I had to have it. It was a very unique ring and the cross was encased in a thin glass and the setting was raised as one you would see in a diamond/wedding ring. I was showing off the ring because I loved it so much and one of the employees of the store said, "Hey, that is a nice ring, it looks almost like a compass." I said, "Wow, you are right. Too bad it's not a real compass because I am always getting lost." After the conversation was over I contemplated the beautiful metaphor of the jerusalem cross. God was using this man in the store to show me how He was like a compass for my life, and when I got lost and forgot who I was.. which I often do, all I needed to do was look at the cross and I would find my way once again. This is true of the Christian life. I often get caught up in things of this life and I am disgusted at myself for letting it get me down time and time again. I know it's only human, but we as Christians are called to be set apart in this world. Often times I am saddened that we do not do a good job at being set apart and instead are the ones who are condeming and using Jesus' name to do this. Just like Pastor Mark said that the Christians can't get along with each other and for that reason we do not have the keys to the church of the nativity. One of the most sacred place for Christians! This is indeed a tragedy. I pray that Christians would wake up and realize that the more they try to convince others that they are right, the further away from the gospel and from the Lord that person gets. Love does not work that way. I pray that I will never forget what I learned in Israel, although I know that it is a possibility I may momentarily forget. It's a good thing I have my compass to guide me.

Here are some pictures of my amazing experience in Israel.



the Catholic church on Mount Beatitudes



Me and my dad at Mount Beatitudes

Me at Cesearea Phillipi - it was here were Jesus said to Peter, "Upon this rock I will build my church."



Another shot of Mount Beatitudes

The Kabutz where we stayed on the sea of Galillee



Ancient city

at the Jordan River where my dad and I rededicated our lives to Christ

On Mount Carmel where Isaiah defeated the prophets of Baal.



It poured on us on the boat ride on the Sea of Galillee - even though we were soaked and freezing, we were moved at God's presence here.



Ginger

My parents adopted a dog from a shelter and I couldn't be more proud of them!!!! Her name is Ginger and she is a 2-year old Yorkie and Schnuazer mix. What do you call that?? A Yauzer!! Every time someone adopts from that shelter (which is a no kill shelter) they save another dog from a local "kill" shelter. So in essence, my parents saved 2 lives that day!! 
When I was looking up various websites in Corpus to help them find a dog, I ran accross one that said, "When you buy a dog from a breeder, you sentence another dog to death." I thought to myself, "How negative and extreme. Like that is really going to make someone want to adopt a dog - NOT! I have rewritten this sentence for their website and it reads as follows "Every time you adopt a dog here at our shelter, you save two lives!" Isn't that what we need more of in today's society? If you start observing, you will see this kind of jargon everywhere. What if we just stopped to spin it in a more positive way? Wouldn't that make more of a difference? It's the same reason why you can't tell someone who is not a Christian that they are going to hell, in the hopes that they will convert. It just doesn't work. Extremism never works because it comes with a hidden agenda. You can't scare someone to convert, you have to love them to convert! What is that bible verse?? Oh yes, "There is no fear in love because perfect love drives out all fear."

Anyway, I digress... The only thing I'm going to be EXTREME about is love, agape Love.

And the moment you have all been waiting for; here is a picture of Ginger!

Pink Christmas Tree

Check out this beaut! I absolutely love my pink Christmas Tree. For some reason this year I felt like decorating. And, I even got some pink LED lights! This is out of character for me because I usually do not decorate at all - ask my mom as she always gets on my case about this. This year was a different story. Not pictured are my presents, some sparkly garland, a stocking and a table runner! This is a big deal for me.

I found some Christmas joy this year, for sure! I guess I found the joy because I realize I have a lot to be grateful for. Even though we had some heartache (losing Chance and Pepper) and disappointment over jobs and other things that have been frustrating (my accident; dad's stolen golf clubs) we still have each other! That is a big deal. Sometimes I get so caught up in having things go my way, I think God has a crazy way of getting my attention. Not that I'm saying He caused any of these terrible things to happen, but He did (or will) work them for good. I must believe there is a bigger picture. If I didn't believe this, what hope would there be? Even if God keeps us waiting for a long time to reveal his bigger picture, we have to believe there is a picture. After all, we do walk by faith and not by sight.

I had an epiphanous moment as I was writing this blog. As my mind was wondering to my sister and thinking about the pain she has endured over the last month, I started thinking about Chance, again. I know I have brought this up a few times in my blog, but it hit me square in the melon. I believe God speaks to me this way. When I hit and killed that small dog this past April, maybe somehow God was preparing me to comfort my sister when someone else hit and killed her own dog. Maybe He was using this bad, terrible, horrible thing to help me help my Kiki. If anything, I am forced to realize how precious everything is that I have.. Everything is a gift from God. Everything is precious. We are not promised anything, not even the very breath that we breathe. And if God takes away my breath (or from someone I love), I will be grateful that I have loved and loved and loved with all my breath and with all that is within me. And thinking about this gives me joy and peace this holiday season. So, I can be grateful for the little things -even a little thing like my pink Christmas tree. And also for my beautiful Luna Belle!

a sad, sad day

My sister lost her dog Chance today. My heart is breaking for her. I just cannot fathom why God allows certain things to happen like this to some and not to others. It is so unfair and so sad. I am remembering the time that I hit a small dog in Corpus and I cried myself to sleep for so many nights (and I did not even know the dog). I remember the situation so clearly when it happened and I found myself placing blame on myself, even though I knew it wasn't my fault. Even though I know He is in control, I felt so helpless and out of control. I felt this thing, this tragedy was going to break me and I could feel the pain and the sorrow pricking my heart. I can still feel it now, and it is the same feeling as I sit here and weep for my sister. I am reminded of the truth that God does understand pain and suffering as he once walked among us. He gave up his own son to die for us. I often wonder though how much suffering we can take as humans and how much is too much? Is it possible just to become impervious to pain? And if we could, would we want to? How many scars and wounds can one grieving, tortured soul endure?

I pray that God's peace would shine so radiantly in my Kiki's heart. I pray that he would hold her up and keep her going. That he would give her the strength to tarry on.

Chance and Harley

Oh how precious and fleeting life is. As I sit and think about her suffering and loss, I am reminded that the only thing that matters is Love. Love is what we are living for. (not jobs, money, a big house and a new car). It's the only thing that keeps us going. Nothing else matters. And no matter what happens, love always wins. Love always remains, even though God takes away from us those we love.

vacay!

New Mexico was so beautiful. I felt like a kid again watching the balloons lift off en masse. What a sight to behold! To sum it all up, I went to the balloon festival; white sands national monument, lots of parks and hiking; and soaking in the hot springs! Here are a few pictures of my trip. I will post more of the balloon festival later on! I will post more of the trip in general later on as well. :)

 

We hiked up to this spot!

Just call me Mary Katherine Gallagher!!

Micah showing his horns (unfortunately!!) 

On the road to the hot springs - it was a 5 mile hike!

There is an artsy feel to this photo - I like it!

Me wanting to take an artsy, pensive shot

Notice the footprints - Micah walking up to the top of the dune

Me trying to get a good shot even though the sun is blinding me and I'm not wearing makeup! 

I'm about to go sledding down this dune. 

Get your guns up in White Sands

Me sledding down the dune

This is not the beach - this is New Mexico!!

My first time sledding - it was a blast!!! 

Micah did pretty well - he was hanging on with one hand. haha!

The hot springs - 1.5 hours away from Albuquerque

The smallest tub - 1 out of 4 tubs! 

Don't make fun of my white legs!

The water was around 108 degrees! 

I'm thinking that I wish the naked people would leave the top tub so I can check it out!! 

We will miss our Pepper :(

All of the kids and our schnauzers - we are a Schnauzer family!

Pepper and his snow boots - it snowed on Christmas eve in 2006

Pepper Allen passed away yesterday, October 4, 2010, in Corpus Christ, TX.  He was a wonderful gift from God sent to our family 13 years ago (almost 14 ). We got pepper in Houston as we were all in town for the Shell Houston Open golf tournament. We saw someone selling mini-schnauzers in a parking lot. The family fell in love with him at first sight, except for me of course because I was a little stubborn and wanted a bigger dog. However, I soon fell in love with him too and he made me realize what a wonderful breed Schnauzers are. They are now my favorite type of dog! My sister has two (Chance and Harley) and I am the proud parent of Luna Belle.

Some of my most favorite memories of Pepper are when he used to pull scrunchies out of my hair, as well as my sister’s. I remember him getting on one of his barking binges (as Dad would put it) in the backyard. I also remember taking him and Harley with us one Thanksgiving to the farm and they both tried to recreate Homeward Bound as they ran away in the pasture. We could not find them for several hours and we were hysterical. Mom and Dad finally found them and they were both shaken up by something they encountered on their journey. We were so glad to have them back safe and sound.

Pepper was one of the best dogs we ever had. He never tried to escape from the backyard like Roxy or Buttercup (our dauchsaund we had before). He was overall a very independent dog and although he did not like to cuddle, he would occasionally surprise me by wanting to sleep with me and give me a small kiss on my face for taking him on a walk. This was by far one of his most treasured past times!

Pepper in 2006, Christmas Day

He was loved by all who had the chance to meet him; he will be dearly missed!