An old blog entry

I came across this old blog entry and I had to repost. I enjoy looking back at old posts from time to time to see what has changed and to see how much I've grown, how far I've come.. etc. It was bittersweet to see what I went through and reflect on the journey that brought me to where I am today.

I am happier than ever before. I find myself singing outburts of random songs throughout the day. (which to those who know me well, this isn't unusual) It's just been a lot more so lately. That's when I'm the happiest and everything is in a harmonious balance. This song just bursted out of my lips and I haven't heard it in forever:

"Praise God, from whom all blessings flow; praise him, all creatures here below;
praise him above, ye heavenly host;
praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."

Maybe when this happens, it's when I'm most in tune with God. And he whispers love songs to me and I can't contain my joy...I have to sing it!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this post about running and going through trials in life. Funny thing is that I don't really run anymore.. except for on treadmills. However, I still remember very clearly what I felt like on that day..and the lessons I learned from so much heartache.

Running the 20-miler

Today I finally crossed the mental and physical threshold after training since the end of May. Even after getting hardly any sleep, I had the best run ever! I arrived a little later than usual--6:05. I usually get there about 5:45 and we start running after announcements and awards. Every week we dedicate our practice to an "honored hero" who is battling cancer or has battled cancer and has lost the fight. It is really inspiring and makes running a little easier knowing you are really making a difference in these people's lives. Well, when I arrived, I immediately had to go to the bathroom. I think the nerves were getting to me because I've never run 20 miles before. But overall I was feeling great and ready for the run. When I made my way over to my training group, they told me I had won the "spirit bib" for the week and I had missed it! The trainers had announced it when I was in the bathroom! The spirit bib is given to an individual who shows the most spirit and enthusiasm during the week. I was really excited to win it and it gave me a much needed confidence and motivation for that day.
When we started, I felt ready and excited for the run. The run was a little dark at first, but then we were able to see the beautiful scenery. I never knew the beautiful parts of San Antonio tucked away in the old neighborhoods of Lincoln and Alamo Heights. Even the name sounds so Continental.
When we crossed Olmos Dam and reached Alamo Heights, I had reached a part of myself I never knew I had. It was as if I was another person looking down on my body and I watched in amazement at how well I was running! And I had struggled the entire season to keep up with my team and not feel so winded and tired!
I had the most horrible week at work and in a way I had reached the end of myself with all of the drama and rejection I've been experiencing for some time. It had been building up, and Tuesday at work I found myself at the stairwell and the tears just started flowing. I prayed asking God to please rescue me from all of this and to some how give me the strength to go on. It has been this way for at least 6 or 7 months; trial after trial, test after test.
And today I found a strength and a peace while running. I had this burst of energy and speed at around 4 miles into the run and it lasted the entire 20 miles! My running mates were calling me the dangling carrot that they were trying to reach, but never could. I smoked them!!

It was as if God was coaching me and cheering me on the entire time, anointing my feet with speed and my body with endurance! And in all this, I had an ephiphanous and triumphant moment. Even in the most difficult times in my life when I keep facing trial after trial and hardship after hardship, He is with me. He is the strength I need and He is my rock. He keeps me going when I feel I can't go on. He keeps me moving when I have no strength to move or no where to move to. He keeps me singing when I cannot find my voice. He sustains me in spite of my circumstances and constant rejection. He keeps telling me to persist and finish the race. And most importantly, he keeps me running! He keeps me running towards the goal, not away from my problems.. but into his arms, and to a strength like never before.

SDA